Magic: The Gathering....of weirdos

Late post today. Yard work and other obligations had to be done first. Speaking of yard work, I have a bur plant in my yard, and came back in with more burs than a girl wearing a bikini in the arctic. I have no idea where the stupid plant is, but it is now my mission to find it and take it down, Solid Snake style.

On to today's topic.

As I said in a previous post, Brad, a friend of ours named DT, and I have been playing a lot of Magic: The Gathering. We are all like 2 steps away from a serious addiction problem with it. I've started to notice though that it is a dirty, dirty game. Not in a sense of physical exertion, or cheating....well much (I'm lookin' at you Brad). It's just that several of the much used phrases, taken out of context, can be horribly dirty. Especially if you are as immature as we are.

Inevitably, and usually multiple times, during the night someone will say something and we will collapse into giggles (well, I giggle, the boys chuckle all manly like I suppose). A couple of weeks ago I started writing down the things that have been said, so that everyone who reads this can be just as immature as we are.

Things we have said, taken completely out of context:

Tap that

I forgot to tap that.

I wish I hadn't tapped that.

Tink me, Tink me hard.

Go ahead and tink me, you know you wanna.

I don't have a very happy hand. I have a sad hand.

You just got black blazed. (linked because I felt it may need some explanation)

Don't put your red deck in my box. You know it doesn't go there.

-Brad to DT: you have a huge deck.

Stop pulling stuff out of your a**.

Take it.

Yep, those things have come out of our faces at one time or another, and in the gaming context they are all completely innocent.

Wait....

No they're not.

Also Mom,

If you are reading this, I'm sorry my humor is still at a fifth grade level, but you have to admit....it's pretty funny though.....right?.....right??

P..P..P..Poker Face

I have no poker face. None. At all. It's kinda sad actually, especially since Brad, our friend DT and I have been playing Magic: The Gathering at least once a week.

Inevitably this is how it goes down:

I get something awesome in my hand, and, before I have time to stop it, a look of triumph flashes across my face. Now if you play any sort of card games at all, you know that if you have something in your hand under no circumstances do you let anyone else see what you have in your hand. Ever.  But noooo, I just get so excited by the awesomeness that is my hand that I have to let everyone know.



This happens every time we play.

At this point, I know I am doing it. They know that I do it. So instead of the awesome play that I could have pulled off, had I kept quiet, both Brad and DT know to smack me down, and they do...hard. Sometimes I still manage to pull off some crazy stuff, but it is few and far between.

I am trying to think of some solutions until I can get my face's act together, but all I have come up with so far is the whole "Look a dragon riding another dragon...Oh you just missed it," or maybe wearing a colorful mask (Magic...Mardi Gras style), but I don't think either will work.

Until then I will just have to be content with the constant face ownage or get Botox.